January 11, 2008

One of the most difficult decisions that anyone can make is to decide to end a relationship. Regardless of whether the relationship is a life partner, a significant-other, a friend or colleague, the decision to terminate the relationship can be laced with fear, anxiety and pain. Unfortunately, many people are so afraid of the pain associated with the demise of a relationship that they decide to stay in it to avoid the pain. In many cases, the fear of abandonment (even if you are the one initiating the break-up) is so great that it is deemed better to endure what currently is, rather than to move on. The sad truth is that if you are in a situation that is robbing you of who you are.... if, within this relationship, you cannot be the full expression of who you are meant to be... if you are involved with a "toxic" person... you are already in pain. And staying in the relationship, in most cases will continue to bring pain. T he question then becomes, "Is the pain that I know better than the pain that I anticipate?"

When working with someone to help them make this kind of life decision, I don't force my reality on them. However, having survived the break-up of several meaningful relationships, I can attest that the pain associated with ending a relationship ends at some point. Yes, it hurts badly... so badly that it can make you question whether you can get out of bed and face each day. But that kind of pain eventually dissipates and leaves you with the prospects of a new beginning.... a new way of being... a new you. Conversely, if you stay in a relationship that does not celebrate and support who you are, chances are that you are not feeling fully alive. If you are not given permission to be all that you can be, your life may feel somewhat diminished.

If you are involved in any kind of relationship that is not serving your highest good, it may be time to consider whether or not you should continue it. It is important to remember that we are all here to be the full expression of love and joy and happiness that we can be. And anything that serves to limit or diminish us... anything that robs us of our ability to love ourselves and others, has no business in our lives. Above all, remember that you are a beautiful ray of light and worthy of all of the love in the universe. And so it is.